They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Randomize
