I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
