My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Randomize
