Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
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