my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
