i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
