yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
