And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
