i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize