I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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