No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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