We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
