2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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