Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
That was before I lit my hair on fire
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