How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
