how can u be prego again
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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