Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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