I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
