I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
