Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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