"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Just high enough for therapy.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
