I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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