i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
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