How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Randomize
