im six kinds of drunk right now
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
