did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
