she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
