I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
