It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Randomize
