when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
