We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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