at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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