You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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