just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Randomize
