My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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