just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
