so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
