woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
