there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
