Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
