found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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