God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
