I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
