Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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