someone get that fucking seahorse.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize