did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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