Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
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