i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
