Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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