The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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