wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Randomize
