just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
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