This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
