is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Sacagawea was the original milf.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Randomize
