Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
