So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i drank out of a bidet.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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