Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
