Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Randomize
