I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Randomize
