he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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