just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
