It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
