So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
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