I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
