What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
