I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
