He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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